tuneresponding six

["Two sips from the cup of human kindness and I'm shit-faced, just laid to waste." -Use It, New Pornographers]

There were dark moments in the last year of high school: uncertainty, chaos, and a chilling kind of drift in everything and everyone I knew, that meant I would lose home and lose people that I loved. But, there were redeeming small memories to augment my life at that time.

There were afternoons spent lounging and leaping on the trampoline in the backyard near the sumac grove. There were calming walks on needled paths through the forest that was. My friends would visit and we would explore the fields and forests and rivers in the remote area where I lived.

I remember the night after prom and the gathering of all my friends in a cabin owned by my dad’s family. We ran through the yard in the night and the wet grass. We all lounged around on the mattresses set out in the cabin, snacking on too much food provided. I was half awake and talking in my sleep that evening, fatigued by the frenzy around the time. I was happy that my prom date was a good friend and that there was no intrigue or confusion surrounding romantic intentions of the event. I remembering trekking through the field at night with her, when she had a headache and we were seeking painkillers back at the house. It was a surreal calm night amidst the seething end of high school.

I can think of many great drives through town with my dad. He would pretend to swerve at crows. I didn’t really care when he wanted to smoke with the window open. He would pick me up from school and listen to my afterschool radio broadcasts from the parking lot while he waited for me (possibly one of five listeners). I could listen to whatever I wanted, and he enjoyed hearing new music I liked, as I also enjoyed hearing his old favourites. Sometimes we would go for drives randomly to get some ice cream from a small local dairy bar. I remember us talking about what songs meant, or about politics, or social issues, or debating any number of things.

It’s indulgent and lulling and heartening to hold onto these more pleasant thoughts, even amidst the sometimes turbulent sequences of a changing life.